I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
