and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
