He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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