On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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