The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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