we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
