My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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