wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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