pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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