Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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