I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
