dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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