dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
