oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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