Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't think brook has ever known best
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
