Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
