It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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