I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
