so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
