I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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