i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
