marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She's the barista slut.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i drank out of a bidet.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
