Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
