Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
