i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
pray to the hookup gods
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
