I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
