having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize