I love black thongs
I understand Curling. That high.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
