If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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