dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
