My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
