if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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