Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
