I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
