Are we in a gay sports bar?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
