they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
