he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
