Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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