pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
