I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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