Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize