You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
