Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
