Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
