He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
