We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize