Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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