Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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