You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
