I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
