You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
