If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
