Fuck appropriateness.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize