i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
why do cheetos always look like penises
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
