my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
