i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he shaved USA in his pubs
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
