I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
