i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
