last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Never underestimate the power of titties
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