just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
