dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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